Eleanor "Nelly" Parke Custis

Eleanor Parke Custis Lewis (known as “Nelly”) was the youngest of Martha Washington’s three granddaughters. Nelly was born at Abingdon, the home of her parents, John Parke Custis and Eleanor Calvert, on March 31, 1779, at the mid-point of the American Revolution. Following the death of their father in November of 1781, Nelly and her brother George Washington Parke Custis “Washy” came to live at Mount Vernon with the Washingtons. Although their mother remarried, Nelly and her younger brother remained in the care of their paternal grandmother and step-grandfather.

Early Life

With George Washington leading the Continental Army and Martha spending much of her time at his military headquarters, they did not have much time with extended family during the war. An infant, Washy met George Washington for the first time in September 1781, when the General made a brief stop at Mount Vernon before the Yorktown Campaign. John Parke continued on to the campaign with his step-father, and died from an illness contracted near Yorktown as an aide-de-camp.

After the death of John Parke, Eleanor remarried Dr. David Stuart in 1783. George and Martha Washington became Nelly’s second family, while her two sisters Elizabeth Parke “Eliza” and Martha Parke “Patty,” and later six surviving half-siblings continued to live with their mother. The two households remained close and visits back and forth were common, with her two eldest sisters visiting for extended periods.

Nelly’s schooling began in earnest when she was about six years old. George Washington described the two children under his care as “very promising,” and hired a series of tutors to provide instruction for both.¹ Within a few years, Nelly’s life and education underwent a major change when her step-grandfather became the first president of the United States. The family moved to the seat of government in New York City in the spring of 1789.  

They relocated to Philadelphia in late 1790, where they would remain until the end of Washington’s second term as president in 1797. Continuing her education, ten-year-old Nelly soon began music lessons. Washy later recalled that “The poor girl would play and cry, and cry and play, for long hours, under the immediate eye of her grandmother, a rigid disciplinarian in all things.”² Nelly attended a school run by Isabella Graham in New York, where the curriculum featured classes in traditional academic subjects, but also embroidery, painting, music, dance, and French. In addition to her studies, she also received private lessons. Throughout her life, she painted watercolor compositions.

At the age of sixteen, Nelly wrote a letter to her step-grandfather, in which she related her adventures at a ball in Georgetown and commented that she found the available young men particularly uninspiring. George Washington wrote back, teasing her about her self-professed "apathy" concerning the men at the ball, offering: "every blessing, among which a good husband when you want and deserve one, is bestowed on you by yours, affectionately."³

Marriage

Nelly married Washington’s nephew, Lawrence Lewis on George Washington’s final birthday, February 22, 1799. Lewis who viewed Washington as a father-figure had become part of the Mount Vernon household shortly after the family returned at the end of the presidency to assist his uncle with political visitors. In preparing for their wedding, Washington effortlessly tried to order a new uniform at Nelly’s request, but one was not available in time.⁵

Adult Life

After Washington’s death, Nelly and her husband inherited property belonging to Washington including Douge Run Farm, the mill tract, and another four hundred acres.⁶ She later transcribed the will of her grandmother. Martha willed her various household items including a significant amount of furniture, dinnerware, and linens from Mount Vernon.⁷ After Martha’s death in 1802, Nelly and her three Custis siblings divided about 150 people enslaved at Mount Vernon considered Custis property from her first marriage, many of whom would be separated from their families and communities at Mount Vernon.

Following Martha Washington’s death in May 1802, Nelly and Lawrence moved to nearby Woodlawn Plantation, which remained their home until Lawrence’s death in the fall of 1839. Of the couple’s eight children, only three survived to adulthood. Nelly died on July 15, 1852, at Audley Plantation, a property purchased by Lawrence before their marriage, near Berryville, in Clarke County, Virginia. She was buried east of the Tomb at Mount Vernon.

Like her siblings, Nelly spent much of the remainder of her life, keeping alive the memory of the beloved grandparents. As she aged, she described them as affectionate parents, and reflected positively on Washington’s presidency. To the public, she was often remembered as endearing, intelligent child and young woman who impressed politicians and foreign visitors alike. She is credited with preserving the physical objects associated with their lives, such as her childhood effects growing up at Mount Vernon, the family harpsichord, and personal effects such as clothing, dinnerware, and furniture.

Mary V. Thompson George Washington's Mount Vernon, revised by Zoie Horecny, Ph.D., 24 April 2025

Notes:

1. “From George Washington to Tench Tilghman, 2 June 1785,” Founders Online, National Archives.

2. George Washington Parke Custis, Recollections and Private Memoirs of Washington, By His Adopted Son, George Washington Parke Custis. New York, NY: Derby & Jackson, 1860, 408.

3. “From George Washington to Eleanor Parke Custis, 21 March 1796,” Founders Online, National Archives.

4. “From George Washington to James McAlpin, 10 February 1799,” Founders Online, National Archives.

5. Transcription of an undated affidavit written by Frances Parke Butler in relation to the 1801 Robert Field miniature of Martha, Curatorial Files, Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association.

6. “George Washington’s Last Will and Testament, 9 July 1799,” Founders Online, National Archives.

7. Will of Martha Washington, 22 September 1800, The Clerk of Circuit Court of Fairfax County.

Bibliography:

Brady, Patricia, ed. George Washington’s Beautiful Nelly: The Letters of Eleanor Parke Custis Lewis to Elizabeth Bordley Gibson, 1794-1851. Columbia: University of South Carolina Press, 1991.

Budka, Metchie J.E., ed.. Under Their Vine and Fig Tree: Travels through America in 1797-1799, 1805 with some further account of life in New Jersey. Elizabeth, New Jersey: The Grassman Publishing Company, Inc., 1965.

Custis, George Washington Parke. Recollections and Private Memoirs of Washington, By His Adopted Son, George Washington Parke Custis. New York, NY: Derby & Jackson, 1860.

Fraser, Flora. The Washingtons: George and Martha Partners in Friendship and Love. Anchor Books, 2015.

Ribblett, David L. Nelly Custis: Child of Mount Vernon. Mount Vernon, VA: Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association, 1993.

Sparks, Jared. The Life of George Washington. Boston: Published by Ferdinand Andrews, 1839.

Schoelwer, Susan P., ed. Lives Bound Together: Slavery at George Washington's Mount Vernon. Mount Vernon, VA: Mount Vernon Ladies Association, 2016.

Thompson, Mary V. “The Only Unavoidable Subject of Regret”: George Washington, Slavery, and the Enslaved Community at Mount Vernon. Charlottesville and London: University of Virginia Press, 2019.

Thompson, Mary V. In the Hands of a Good Providence: Religion in the Life of George Washington. Charlottesville: University of Virginia Press, 2011.

Worthy Partner: The Papers of Martha Washington, ed. Joseph E. Fields. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1994.